If I Only Had..

They say people doesn't know how to be contented. We are aiming and reaching for more even though we already have. And sometimes because of aspirations to have more and more we didn't notice that we are already becoming greedy and hurt other people.

If only I had...

A beautiful body; a pretty face; a flawless skin.

"hay naku sis alam ni Lord kung lahat nasa atin yan baka madagdagan ang mga shulandi dito sa mundo or baka we are not who we are now baka maaga tayo nagasawa or nabuntis kaya...hahahaha" That's our dialogue to each other, everytime me and my friend Cecille are upset on looking good to ourselves or everytime we see someone who looks physically perfect.

If only I had...

Pursuance into College of Law

Its not new to those people who knows me well that being a lawyer is really my dream. I didn't had a hard time to think what course will I take up when I reached college...I took up Political Science, a preparatory course for law. But due to some personal considerations I didn't took up law after I graduated from college instead I pursued Master in Public Administration. "E di sana Jen nandon ka sa kabilang building kung naglaw ka at tska mas genius kang tingnan kasi lagi kang may bitbit na Consti,/ Civil code" sagot ko naman "kung naglaw ako I will not meet you guys and definitely you will not be my best friend" "sabagay at tsaka baka pagtaasan mo lang ako ng kilay kapag nakasabay mo ako sa elevator" my best friend Ian replied.

If only I had...

a well paid job in Pinas

What is a "well paid" employee anyway? For me sana lang di naman yung almost kalahati na ng salary e napupunta sa tax di ba or pagdating ng November e halos wala na talaga sinusweldo sa laki ng mga deductions sa kung anuanong mga misc. I liked to be in a public service..not like its I loved to be. That's why I didn't missed the opportunity when I had a chance to work in a government office. I even chose to be a contractual employee in a government agency than to be an HR Assistant in a bank. But sometimes fulfilling the dreams within us and doing the things that will make us happy is not enough, there are some considerations na kelangan nating maggive way to achieve a better life. "hay Jen at least ikaw nabibili mo ang gusto mo, nakakatulong ka sa family mo, may kotse ka na, mas napaganda mo pa yung bahay nyo e kung andito ka lang sa Pinas di mo magagawa yon or it will take so many years to do sa sweldo dito" yon ang mga line na lagi ko na lang naririnig sa mga friends ko twing imi-meet ko sila. But on some point they are right.

If only I had...

A family of my own at the age of 28

Honestly never in mind I grasp that thought of being married at my 20s or cuddling my own child pero pano nga kaya kung meron na. I'm not afraid of handling responsibilities naman but I think I'm not ready to do so. I have so many things that I want to try...things that I want to do on my own. "mas maganda kung parang barkada o kaibigan mo lang ang mga anak mo kapag tumanda ka, imagine if you get married at 20 pag nag 40 ka may 20 years old ka ng anak" Oo nga no..they have point " e naku ewan ko lang kung may anak ka na kung magagawa mo lahat ng gusto mo"

If only I had..

A lovelife?

Never in a wek yata walang nagtatnong sa akin if I had a boyfriend and dahil I'm used to that tinatawanan ko na lang. Sa busy sched. ko from 8 to 9pm nasa office ako do you think I will have a time to be on him or to go out on a date??? "pag di na ako busy ibibigay na ni Lord"

If only I had..

Lots of money

Siguro lahat naman ng tao wants to be rich. When I was still young sabi ko 'pag yumaman ako magpapatayo ako ng hospital or ng school at yung mga bata na can\t afford is free na lang. But life is not as simple as that; sometimes money pa ang nagiging cause for a person para maging masama. Minsan sinasabi ko sgro kaya d ako ginawa ni Lord na mayaman kasi ayaw Nya na makalimutan ko sya.

All things that we have now and who we are now is because we doesn't have all those "if only had" things. All the things we have now are meant to be for us; those things played and served important role of our past, present and even in our future.

If there's one thing I learned on my journey that is to be thankful on all the things I have and enjoy the company of the people besides me. Stay away from those "what if" and "if only's and enjoy the things that life has to offer.