Monday, March 23, 2015

Trust His Heart

Since I got back from my vacation last October 2014 I am praying to God to give me provision on what step should I make next. I'm not getting any younger and I really want a stable career. For almost 9 years I am working in an international construction firm; people from construction project based will understand me that the stability from such kind of business is not for lifetime, I mean all depends on the projects that the company will get.
The Lord answered my prayer, He gave me provisions and use people as an instrument to take my first step in applying to the position that I really wanted. Even before I worked here in abroad I really want a job wherein I can directly help people. I even trade a regular bank position over a contractual government staff. I remember how people asked me why I chose to be in a public service over a job that is stable and earn high, at first I asked myself too "bakit nga ba?", I enjoy being with people, helping them even in the simplest way I can. Hindi ako mayaman and sometimes iniisip ko sana nga mayaman na lang ako so I can help more but in the end I'd still wanted to have a simple life, I'm afraid that I might be boastful when I become rich and famous, ok na ako sa kung anong meron ako though I'm striving to have more pa rin naman.
Last February, my friend asked me if I want to apply in a government position, to give it a try again. My friend knows how I really love to. I had a not so formal interview with the labor attache here. I really miss being in the public service, and as he brief me on the scope of job if ever I will be hired, sobrang naexcite ako since hindi na bago sa akin yong mga ganong trabaho and the most exciting part of it is I can have interaction to those distressed OFW under the agency's custody. After a week, another friends sent me a message confirming if I can go back as early as March 3to assume the position in a government agency where they are working too. To make the story short I wasn't able as I need at least a month to notify my present company but they told me that they will be giving me another chance and notify me again if there will be another vacant position.
Two weeks ago I received the confirmation from Philippines regarding my application for the vacant position here, yes even dito ka magaassume ng position since its a Philippine government agency need na sa Pilipinas pa rin iproprocess lahat ng application. I submitted an incomplete requirements such as medical test, I need health card pa kasi dapat government hospital dito ang magcertify, I waited for 3 weeks and I'm getting a hard time to have it. Today morning the agency confirmed to me that the deadline is over.
Honestly, after so many years ngayon ko lang ulit na-feel yung parang nadisappoint pero wala ka namang magawa kasi its beyond your control, yung ang dami mong tanong pero wala namang mahanap na sagot, yung okay ka pero bakit naiiyak ka.  
While checking my FB I saw that one familiar name commented on the photo I posted. Oh its my former boss and mentor to my previous government agency I worked with, parang kasi ngayon lang sya nagFB kaya for so many years I don't have any means of communication with her. All the memories I had with them flashback, bigla ko tuloy naisip what if magapply kaya ulit ako don this time as a permanent na.
The only words that comes into mind is God's promise in His word in Romans 8:28
From the time I started my application, ipinagpray ko na and I always include it on my prayer. I entrusted it to the Lord, that His will be done kaya siguro kahit may konting panghihinayang mas madali ko syang na-let go. And at the same time God sent me an angle this morning, I found one of "ate" in church whom I look up to, I consider her as my mentor in the church. I am thankful for all the comforting words and sharing me word of God for me to see more clearly and hold on tighter to God's promises. I am really blessed and grateful that the Lord is always  besides  me - to catch me and comfort me; He is always ready before I utter that I need Him.
Ate gave me a line from the song Trust His Heart and it really soothes my heart. Thanks Ate Agnes!
God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His Heart
I trust His plans for me, I know and always He has better than what I have for myself. 
Lord, You know my heart, my desires and my needs..continue to guide me and lead me, give discernment and wisdom in whatever decision I will make. Continue to teach me and mold me to trust You always and completely. Your will thy be done on me, in all aspects and areas of my life Lord I entrust to You.
Please pray for me also. I know that prayer is the best powerful tool we can have to be heard by the Lord.
God bless us all

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