Friday, May 9, 2008

first half of my journey

LIFE IS A JOURNEY...
At the age of 12 I already planned my life. When my social studies' teacher asked us who wants to be a lawyer without any hesitation I raised my hand.
When I graduated my secondary level I want to enroll in a public highschool but my parents doesn't want. They told me that it would be better to stay on the same private school. For me, Im only a typical student although as for my classmates and friends Im a studious..hahaha,akala lang nila yon. Kasi siguro lagi lang ako kasama sa mga top students of the class. Hindi ako "pasaway" when I was on my highschool years, maybe the only "hinanakit" ko lang is I never remembered that my parents go to school to attend PTA meetings or to get my report card.
Although Im decided what course ang ieenroll ko I didn't close my mind to a great possibilities na baka pwede pa ang ibang course. Pero ganon talaga yata when you are decided sa choice mo yun na talaga. I took up Bachelor of Science in Political Science. I loved my course that's why nagexcell din sguro ako. I was included to the dean's list and was active to some campus organizations. But there was a time na minsan I asked myself bakit parang di naaapreciate ng mga parents ko ang mga achievements ko..l.bakit mas napapnsin pa nila yung mga failled grades ng kapatid ko..e what if kaya pabayaan ko na lang yung mga grades ko..pro hindi coz I know Im the first na maapektuhan din.
I graduated and after I looked for a job. I graduated at 19 years of age, masyado daw ako bata to work as some of the company na pinagaaplyan ko. So instead of wasting my time I enroll to graduate school. Everybody is asking me bakit sa masteral at hindi sa College of Law. I promised myself kasi na mageenroll lang ako sa Law kapag I can support myself. I finished my Post Graduate Studies in Public Administration and still I cant find job suited for me. I was really down that time coz iniisip bakit yung iba di naman sila ganong kagagaling when they are studying e bakit mas madali sila nakakuha ng work.
I was given a chance to be a part of a government agency. I was very thankful kasi yon talaga ang gusto ko, to serve and to be employed at the same time. Nagamit ko ang pinagaaralan ko,although im only a casual employee I proved that I am right to the position.
Im a typical woman who knows how to be in love. Its not unusual for me na makarinig kung bakit wala pa ako boyfriend that time..or sabihin nila na swerte daw ang magiging bf ko. Its my choice not to have a relationship during my teens year or even after I graduated. I planned na magbbf ako when I reached 24 years old....hay ang daming "J" during that time...hahaha.
I met Jerome at the age 24...he was a friend at first and became my boyfriend. Through several signs and one bible passage I knew he is the one. Sa kanya natuto ako magpakita ng emotions...sabi ng mga nakakakilala sa akin Im really tough..nakakaintimidate daw ang personality ko..pero with him I can show my true feelings & emotions--natuto ako umiyak, to accept my mistake/s and to asked for sorry withou explanations/ complain. Those short time that were together is not that easy, hindi sya fairytale na puro happy moments...mahirap talaga ang long distance relationship or maybe were not really meant.
Its not the quantity of time that you spent together ang magiging sukatan how easily you can move on. I left Philippines for a very selfish reasons....to forget him and to move on.
But no matter nga pala ano gawin mo na paglayo you cannot easily moveon if you really love the person.
Im here now in a desserted land...almost two years na ako dito. Im working as an office staff in an international company. I been to vacation na rin sa Pinas last December, pero ganon pala talaga yon the more you try to forget things from your past lalo syang babalik ng babalik sau...i mean the memories...
I think I better cut this..maybe its better to make a new post regarding that topic..hehehe.

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